"It's coming on Christmas .. we're cutting down trees.."
It's soon to be my very first Christmas in Saint Louis, and in times like this I can't help but pine for Wisconsin. For my Aunt and Uncles, and Grandma and Grandpa and even for my brother and little sister -- whom I rarely see.
There wont be very many presents under the tree this year, it's just mom and me. I'm bought my best friend a hello kitty piggy bank she can paint with her daughter, and a coloring book with some crayons in case her daughter isn't quite old enough for the piggy bank.
I spent over $50 buying stuff to make my own Christmas cards this year for everyone in lieu of real presents. The shipping alone to get the cards and the small bags of candy I got to accompany it will be astronomical. I got glitter everywhere last night -- I have a feeling I'll be picking up glitter for a long time.
I think this cured me of any plans in the future to do home-made stuff. Still I had fun. And all the cards look different so. Yeah.
To be honest the only thing I want for Christmas is my cat to get down here safely. There have been so many issues with me trying to get her here. I'm trying to be patient with the whole process. But I feel like it's just gone way out of proportion.
That it's possible to miss a four legged furry creature this much is unreal. When I was forced to leave her behind six months ago, I really thought I'd never see her again ...
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Dustin and I are in a weird place. I do care about him, as much as I can care about anyone but we have stupid fights and sometimes I tend to fell smothered by him. The last 2 weeks or so he's been distant or I've been busy and so I've seen him less and less. I guess the whole absence makes the heart grow fonder thing kicks in. I don't know. I don't know what will happen with him if anything. All I really know is I do care about him. But I'm not ready to even think about being anyone's girlfriend.
7:35 AM - 12.19.2010
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