I'm sick. Or getting sick. Or something. I've been having horrible headaches, and waking up feverish, and my heart is constantly pounding in my ears. And I feel like I can't hear fully out of them.
I feel like I want to relax. I want to pretend that this time with my mom will last forever. But the truth is, I realize the future is coming sooner than I'm ready for it, and frankly I really don't know if I can afford it. When I first got down here, I thought it would be no problem.
But now I feel like I am running out of time and money and I'm terrified. I know I shouldn't be. That I should just submit to the process and let it come.
But how can I not worry?
I just want to lay down and sleep. And hope it all fades away.
11:47 AM - 09.07.2010
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